semiprecious

My intention with these entries is to celebrate those neologisms and other classy turns of phrase that make me smile. However, I often come across the odd horrendous abuse of language that gives me pause, which makes me want to hurl (outrage). Sometimes I just up and realize I find certain words irritating, even offensive. “Semiprecious” is one of those words.

Semiprecious may conjure images of glittering jewels or shiny gems, but the truth of the matter is, semiprecious is a filthy invention of commercial stone-hawkers. Originating as recently as 1895, this foul category is defined merely by what it is not; that is, precious. Designating agate, garnet, topaz, and other stones semiprecious is just a sneaky way for gift shops at national parks to charge five bucks for a bag of polished colored pebbles.

Deriving* from “semi-” meaning incompletely + “precious” meaning very costly, semiprecious rips from the word “precious” the deliciousness of its other varied meanings, including “excessively delicate or refined” (precious manners), “flagrant,” (a precious fool), or, humorously, “highly esteemed for some nonmaterial quality,” (precious memories). Even the spelled pronunciation itself is totally precious: [presh-uhs] Look at that! I value that highly, for nonmaterial reasons. My main point is really that precious should be reserved for adorable puppies and small children.

Semiprecious: semi-crappy is more like it! So the stones are less expensive than diamonds and rubies — so what? Aluminum foil is also cheaper than sapphire. I made jewelry out of tinfoil when I was a kid; does that make me a semiprecious gemologist? Semiprecious is a fraudulent term, rock-peddlers be damned for their inventions!

*Derivations from: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/semiprecious, http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=precious, http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=semi-